They Need Them Because Raw Milk And Heirloom Seeds Are Dangerous

Given that it seems that every Federal agency has an Office of Inspector General with armed law enforcement officers and a SWAT team, I guess this solicitation by the USDA OIG isn't too surprising.

Solicitation Number:                                              

USDAOIGWEA-5-7-14

Synopsis:

Added: May 07, 2014 2:03 pm

The U.S. Department of Agriculture, Office of Inspector General, located in Washington, DC, pursuant to the authority of FAR Part 13, has a requirement for the commerical acquisition of submachine guns, .40 Cal. S&W, ambidextrous safety, semi-automatic or 2 shot burts trigger group, Tritium night sights for front and rear, rails for attachment of flashlight (front under fore grip) and scope (top rear), stock-collapsilbe or folding, magazine - 30 rd. capacity, sling, light weight, and oversized trigger guard for gloved operation.  NO SOLICITATION DOCUMENT EXISTS.  All responsible and/or interested sources may submit their company name, point of contact, and telephone.  If received timely, shall be considered by the agency for contact to determine weapon suitability.

Beyond the question of why they even need them which is highly debatable, the solicitation has got me to wondering about semi-automatic submachine guns. Aren't they an oxymoron? Perhaps the contracting office didn't want to use the term "assault rifle" or "assault weapon" and just decided that "submachine gun" was a kinder, gentler way of saying they wanted a bad-ass looking firearm to put the fear of God and the USDA into those damn farmers. Given the vagaries of Federal acquisitions, who knows for sure.