I don't know who writes the Rocky Mountain Right blog but they have a wicked good sense of humor. Their latest post is ostensibly written by Rep. Diana DeGette (D-CO) and contains her guide to gun safety.
It contains this warning about those dastardly "assault weapons" and how to recognize them.
WARNING: A RIFLE THAT HAS BEEN PAINTED BLACK IS AN ASSAULT WEAPON, ONLY HANDLE AN ASSAULT WEAPON IF YOU HAVE BEEN PREVIOUSLY AUTHORIZED BY AN ELECTED OFFICIAL OR CELEBRITY.
The post even has drawings to illustrate the dangers of certain kinds of ammunition. I didn't know ammo had dragons in it!
Go to the link above and read the whole thing.